The LifeMaven

Here’s the scenario:

Person S and T are good friends. They are both members of the same career network. Person V is a manager at a company and also a member of that network. V has a possible job opportunity. V and S have worked together before and have previous experience together. T has worked on a project for V in their career network, but aside from that, have had little contact together.

V offers S the opportunity and does not tell T about said opportunity. Is this fair?

My take:

It is not fair, but it is simply a given when relying on an underdeveloped network for opportunities.

It is difficult to expect your network to remember you and keep you in the loop when you have little contact or previous experience with them. Especially if the only time you’re in contact is when you need help.

Meanwhile a fellow network member has been much more outgoing, and has made more of an effort keep in contact. Is it any mystery that they get the opportunities?

Furthermore, should T feel wronged that they were not given the opportunity to interview and compete when the very essence of their career network is to hear of job opportunities before the rest of the common population do?

Again, my take is: no.

If you’re a member of an exclusive network,  should you be surprised when there is another exclusive group within that network that you are not a part of?

It is all a part of networking. The sword cuts both ways as it were. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesnt.

At the very least you’re still in the same position as you were before. Still looking.

As Scott Young says, its a win/neutral situation. Not a win/lose. You don’t lose anything, you just merely remain the same.

What do you think? Was it wrong for V to favor S? Was it unfair? Surprising? Where does T go from here?

What do we do when our family’s interests conflict with out own?

What happens when they have their own plans for us? Living vicariously through us or a particular career that we should pursue?

I believe that all parents inherently want what’s best for their kids. But sometimes what they think is best is actually worse.

Example: Your parents send you to a prestigous business school for college, but you can’t stand accounting and have no intention of getting your CPA. Your true passion lies in writing and you’d like to write novels instead.

To borrow from Martha Beck here, your essential self wants one thing but your parents and social self want another.

How do you tell them that you won’t be spending your hours with numbers and accounts, but with words and stories?

I don’t have the answer to this one, it’s just an observation I’ve made and a question I think many people of my generation grapple with.

What do you think? How would you tell your parents that their dreams for you are unrealistic and that it’s your life to live? How do you have “the talk“?

Your mind is a muscle, not much different from your biceps or your deltoids. The more you use it, the stronger it gets and the easier some tasks become.

Blogging is an excellent example of both the means and the end for your mind. The more you blog and write stuff for your blog, the better you’ll get at it. When your writing improves, your blog improves and hopefully, your loyal readership as well.

The key is making it a habit. Just doing a little bit of writing everyday. Even if you don’t ever intend to post any of it, just write for the sake of writing. The practice will pay off as your mind gets stronger and you develop your creative skills.

At least, that’s how I see it/am trying to do it.
PS: All the credit for this philosophy should go to Sonia Simone. She’s the one I learned it from, not sure where exactly, but she does keep the blog Remarkable Communication and I’m a big fan of her work in general.

A quick personal post on my recent MIA status.

A few things have happened in the past month:
-NCAA Football and Madden 10 (A distracting panacea)
-I’ve had a nasty illness that’s given me coughing fits and tempered my usual optimism

And finally I’ve just generally been discouraged with my progress on this blog. All through my own fault of course

But and this is the really good part for you, the reader. But, I’ve decided to slog through and keep my hopes up for it.

Many of the experts say that blogging is a marathon, not a sprint and I believe them.

I have to do it for the long haul and hope for the best.

A recent job interview did the trick too.

Do I want to spend 12 hour days working in a field I’m not entirely passionate about or would I rather spend the relatively few hours working on what truly interests me through this blog?

At the very least, I have to keep up hope and keep this option open

Welcome back!

For most high school and college students, their teachers stress the importance of keeping up with current events. Things like reading the paper or watching the news for stories that affect you.

My question: Is all of that really worth it?

Read the rest of this entry »

As always, the answer is: it depends.

It’s one thing to to want to improve your standing in life when you’re average or mired in mediocrity.

It’s entirely another thing when ambition becomes greed. When we stop cherishing and valuing what we do have now, only to focus on what we don’t have or want to have.

Like anything in life, there must be moderation.

“We must have enough money.”

“We must have enough love.”

So what if our significant others don’t look like movie stars or don’t have perfect personalities?

They’re human!

Just like us.

And if they love us and care for us all the same, isn’t that enough?

Is it okay to settle and be happy with what you have?

On the big road of life, we should relax sometimes and stop to smell the roses. To appreciate everything around you.

Because who knows? Your life could end before you achieve your goals. Doesn’t it make sense to have had a good journey along the way?

What do you think? Am I rambling again? Or preaching to the choir?

Not exactly, but here’s a step in the right direction.

Read the rest of this entry »

Most folks familiar with lifestyle design know this question.

Do we want to experience our lives now, or later?

In the latter, we work a 9-5 job for 30+ years, living relatively within our means along the way, and hopefully have enough money left over by the time we’re in our 60’s to experience the true freedom of life in the world.

In the former, we run a small business, save up enough to fulfill our dreams, and then act on them once we have enough money. When the money runs out, we go back to the business or go back to our jobs.

Now or later?

Do we want to experience our lives when we are in our primes? The relative youth of our 20’s and 30’s where we should have prestine health and credit.

Or do we want to wait until we retire in our 60’s to start enjoying the world? By that time, we’re likely to have kids, a mortgage, car payments, bills, and slowly declining health.

The real question is: do I want to spread mini-retirements throughout my life, or do I just want the one big, retirement life buffet at the end?

Have you thought about the now or later question? Are you waiting to enjoy your life later or are you working to make your dreams a reality now?

Let me know what your plan is in the comments.

There is a saying that if you can dream it, you can do it.

I believe this is 100 percent accurate.

All it takes is one step. One action.

If you can take just one step, no matter how small, towards achieving your dream everyday, you will eventually achieve it.

It will not always be easy. Sometimes there will be steps you don’t want to take.  (There are tricks for that I’ll share someday.)

But if your desire for your dream is strong enough, you will find a way to take those difficult steps too.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Confucius

Make sure you take your one step today!

I met with one of my mentors this weekend and had a talk about life and achieving your goals.

One of his messages was that failure is always an option.

“The path between you and success contains many failures along the way.”

As long as you learn from those failures and do not repeat them, success will eventually come to you. That learning is key. It is where we grow. Where we become stronger and more experienced.

The experience you gain from learning from your failures stays with you a lifetime. The rewards of your successes? Not necessarily so.

Set a daily goal to fail at something a certain number of times a day and you will be surprised how many times you succeed along the way.

On somedays you may not even fail at all!

The sooner you begin to fail, the sooner you will begin to succeed.

For many of us this fear of failure is paralyzing. It prevents us from taking the steps needed to achieve our dreams and the lives we want.

Instead, we stay where we are safe and comfortable. (I’m guilty too! ) Suddenly, years have gone by and we wonder if our dreams will ever come true.

Don’t let this happen to you! Fail at something today and get that much closer to success!

PS: Practice Makes Imperfect basically echoes this sentiment much more scientifically and rationally than I did.