The LifeMaven

In his book, Small is the New Big, Seth Godin, talks about zooming in one of the sections. Zooming as he puts it, is doing what you always do, but a little different. It’s about stretching your boundaries, getting outside your comfort zone, and expanding your horizons. The trick is to do it in a way that you’re anchored by the comfortable (what you always do), but you grow by trying something new (done a little differently).

That’s always been a lofty ideal for me and one I haven’t quite reached without realizing why.

Well I finally found out!

Scott Young ran this post today about being on the edge of incompetence. The theme is similar, you want to be constantly learning new things and mastering new skills to grow and succeed in life. But Scott takes it one step further in a tactical sense. He explains that we need to challenge ourselves so that we’re growing, but not too far so that there’s no positive feedback. We need to feel progress.

This is a true epiphany for me. (Forgive me, if I’m not a genius who already knew this xP) I can think of countless examples where this is true. Scott uses the case of running with someone slightly faster than you, but not an Olympian. You want to push yourself without being demoralized.

Some examples I’ve thought of:

-Playing slightly harder songs on an easier difficulty or easier songs on a harder difficulty in Guitar Hero (or Rock Band, your preference)

-Playing against opponents slightly above your rank in any ranked game. (Madden, Halo, chess, etc.)

Again, the lesson for today is:

Challenge yourself by trying things you might not be good at, but make sure you can learn from your failures.

I tried to see Avatar in Imax 3D this morning with my girlfriend, and was disappointed that the entire day’s worth of showings were sold out. Apparently many other folks thought like we did and thought they’d try to catch the movie on a free day off.

Some thoughts about this:

1)      If you’re going to make a spectacular movie, you should reduce the limits to those who want to see it. Make it widespread, make it easy to see. I know Avatar is showing in non-Imax and non 3D locations, but that wasn’t the intention of the movie. The intention was to spend a lot of money on CGI special effects and post production, and that would be essentially wasted in a non-Imax setting.

2)      There is the eternal debate between effects vs. storytelling. Should a movie focus on the appearance and the visual aspect? Or should they focus on the emotional story? From what I’ve heard, Avatar is in the former, making it all the more important that it be available in its intended format. This is especially true since it’s unlikely that the movie’s story would be able to hold it on its own in a traditional theater. At least, that’s what I think of it now.

3)      An even more personal gripe. My girlfriend and I went to abnormal lengths (for us anyway) to try and see Avatar today. To be unable to is so frustrating, that I am unwilling to give them a chance again. I told her, “I’ll probably just forget about seeing it now. It’s too much of a hassle and I don’t want to waste my time again.” Is this the reaction you want your customers to have? I know moviemakers may not have full control over the availability of Imax theaters, but then why make a movie that is only at its best in Imax? Either spend your effort making the graphics good looking in a regular theater, or focus on the story and make a movie memorable that way.

That’s my venting on today’s Avatar experience.

PS: We saw Sherlock Holmes instead and were sufficiently entertained by that to not have ruined the day completely.

(I started writing this post Friday night after i got home. But to use a term from the book, The Resistance kicked in and stopped me from posting it. NO MORE!)

I saw Seth Godin at The Linchpin Session at FIT this morning. To me it was well worth it, just like all of his other talks. (Even though I never paid for those.)

He talked about the new economy and how we don’t have to be cogs if we don’t want to. Instead, we are artists. Every positive aspect of our actions that isn’t defined by a job description is our art.

He talked about how we need to be generous with our gifts, and share them with the world. And how school forces us and endoctrinates us into taking orders and not showing initiative.

All in all, another life changing talk. I saw someone recording it from the front row so i’m hoping it’ll end up on TED or Youtube, because there was just so much good stuff there (like there always is) that I don’t think I truly absorbed all of it at once.

I had my book signed by Seth, (swoons) and he left me with a simple message.

Make something happen.

That’s the true essence of the entire book and speech. Be like Nike and Just Do It. Share your gifts with the world and worry about the results later. Just get them out there! Change someone’s life! (For the better.)

PS: Seth is compiling a list of posts and interviews on the book here. Check it out for another look.

Is it wrong to apply to multiple jobs that you have no real interest in?

This is a question I’ve thought about recently. I went on a job interview with several other candidates and found myself making small talk with a few as we went to college together.

One person said “I have like 5 or 6 offers.”

My thoughts are: what are you doing here then?

I know the importance of having multiple options, leveraging different offers, and so forth.

On the other hand, as one of the other potential applicants, it seems rather selfish to be hoarding offers like that.

Surely with 5 or 6 offers, one of those must have a strong appeal to you. You must have some feeling as to whether or not you’re going to accept.

So, if you have little to no intention of accepting the job, then why do you bother to apply? You’re taking up a spot that could be used for someone just as qualified who really needs the job.

This is especially true if the company views several candidates equally and only chooses one essentially at random.

What do you think? Should there be a limit on the number of offers an applicant has before they are interviewed? Or is it true survival of the fittest, and you need to take care of yourself first, fairness be damned?

A quick post to start the day. Seth posted this morning on career fairs and their, well, lack of fairness.

As usual, Seth says what I’ve had inkling to all along. That career fairs don’t really work. Everyone there is so eager (read desperate) for a job, that we kiss so much ass our lips hurt.

And the interviewers? They really don’t care whether you’re qualified or not. It only matters to them if you make a personal connection with them and they like you. It’s all personality.

I love Seth’s analogy. “You wouldn’t look for your soulmate at a single’s bar or nightclub. Why would you look for your ideal job at a career fair?”

But the key question Seth leaves unanswered is “what then is the best way to find your ideal job?”

Some hints/tips that I believe in:

1)      Be remarkable

2)      Do things worthwhile

3)      Make a difference

4)      Improve a skill

5)      Be different

I don’t have all the answers. Just look at where I am!

Do you have any alternatives to the career fair? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Question: How can you call one of your own children a failure?

This is the situation that my girlfriend has found herself in recently. On numerous occasions she has heard these dreadful words either directly from her parents or indirectly through her younger sister.

Rant alert! My personal reply to her parents.

First of all, what is your definition of failure? Because she’s unemployed, didn’t pass her CPA exam on the first try, and not working for a Fortune 500 company? Goodness, you need some perspective on life.

Second, this is your daughter we’re talking about. How can she be a failure? You raised her! If you’re not pleased with the actions she has chosen for herself, you need to take a good hard look in the mirror.

What values, beliefs and morals have you instilled in her? What opportunities did you offer her?

You chose the college that she went to and she had no say in the matter! How can you expect her to reach the same heights as a graduate of a more prestigious school when you sent her to a school barely above a community college?

What are you doing with your life that makes you such a great judge on the matter? It’s not as if you’re the CEO of one of those companies or a CPA yourself. No, you’re just a mid-level civil servant, so who are you to pass judgment of success or failure.

It’s not for a lack of trying on her part. She studied her butt off for that exam! How do you think she feels knowing that she gave it her best effort and didn’t pass? And you want her to hold down some fantastic job at the same time?

End rant.

This is not a constructive environment. This kind of thinking leads to shattered families, depressed children, and suicidal adults. People who live in these kinds of expectations are setting themselves up for great disappointment and are never satisfied with the success they do have.

There’s more to life than just working for a big name company or making lots of money. There is health, there is love (unfortunately, there’s little love in this family), and there is artistic and natural beauty. There is so much more in the world than being just another cog in the machine making 60K a year plus benefits.

In this very inspiring Steve Jobs speech at the Stanford commencement (embed at the end of the post), he says he would look in the mirror every morning and ask himself if “I die in a year, would I still want to be doing what I’m doing.” When the days where he answered “no” got too numerous, he made a change in his life.

I think this is very important, as so many of us focus on the wrong things in life. Like my girlfriend’s folks, we focus on money, status, and having brand name material goods. (Ironic considering this is the head of Apple.) We get so caught up in the race for these things that we forget that we’re going to die eventually, and all of those things will have been for naught.

We don’t receive a score when we die; based on how much money we made or what socioeconomic class we belonged to.

No, those things do not last beyond our mortal lives.

What matters instead, is our reputation and our character.

Did we help people? Was the world a better place thanks to our contribution? It can be as large as the acts of Mother Theresa, or it can be as insignificant as reading a bedtime story every night to your child.

What matters is that you made someone else’s life better.

You were able to put aside humanity’s selfish instincts, and do something for your fellow man instead of just for yourself.

That is what I think life should be about. And no, you can never be a failure.

“You’re only a failure in life when you fail to live.” – By me

It’s been two months since I lasted posted here.

And of course, life can teach you a lot in two months.

For starters, I’ve reaffirmed my distaste for traditional, big corporate America. I’m tired of working hard, being positive, bringing a good attitude, going above and beyond the call of duty and not being adequately compensated for it.

This doesn’t mean I’ll stop doing those things. No, not yet.

But I’m just dissatisfied with the whole experience. That if you work hard and don’t make too much noise, maybe upper management won’t notice you and will instead force you to work from a space the size of a single desk.

My co-workers know how hard I work. They know how good my attitude is and how much better I make their work lives. And yet, I am still an intern, graduated from college, no benefits, a passing wage and minimal hours.

But hey, at least I have a lot of time to myself still. :-/

I’ve learned how much I agree with Seth Godin and dislike the traditional interview process.

Speaking to big corporate America:

Skills are learn-able and teachable, why not focus on personality like you secretly are anyway. Why not just take five minutes to make a judgment about a person and then decide to give them a shot?

No, not a job for life, but a shot!

An internship, a true internship, where we’ll do real work, with real teams and make real contributions. And if we’ve done a good job during that time, why not bring us on full time? Not just leave us to rot under a minimal salary while you benefit from our hard work, with the ever constant and false promise of “temp to full time.”

On a more positive note, one great thing about living in New York City is the library. I am a new, huge fan of the New York Public Library. Prior to this, I had only had a Queens Library card.

(Queens public library is a separate entity from New York’s, don’t ask me why, I have no idea. Separate libraries, separate library cards, etc.)

I finally fully activated my NYPL card and have been astounded with the variety of choices and wealth of knowledge at my disposal. I can place books on hold and pick them up at the nearest branch, a convenient one block walk from my job. I can access a fairly decent array of WMA audiobooks for free download online. Great authors such as Seth and Malcolm Gladwell fill my ears and intellect instead of my traditional rock music commute.

Wow! My thirst for knowledge and greater mental stimulation has returned!

And so, I return to you once again dear reader, from another long hiatus. Hopefully, I’ll be able to regain some momentum and keep the words, ideas, and posts coming. In the meantime, thanks for listening. And enjoy!

A simple epiphany for me.

One of the reasons for my current situation is my disdain for corporate life and traditional jobs.

I had felt that I would be happier if I had more free time and tried to build my own business on the side. It would allow me to both enjoy myself and create my future.

The past few months have taught me a lot:

1) It is difficult to start a business that your heart is not entirely in.

(Follow your passions)

You have to really love what you’re doing. If you spend hours working on your business/project and forget to eat or wonder where the time went, then you know you’re on the right track.

2) Just as hard, is finding a business model that works with your passions.

(How will your passion make you money, who will pay and how much.)

3) Set your own goals for what you want in life.

(Your list of things to do before you die. )

Make sure these are your goals and not just what society or your peers think should be your goals. They should speak to you on an emotional, deeper level. Your heart should race with excitement as you think about them!

4) Based on those goals, how will you achieve or finance them.

(Small business or corporate?)

The last point brings me to my intentions for this post. I realized that by working part time and trying to force myself to come up with a business, I was not getting any closer to my goals.

Much to my disbelief, taking one of those traditional corporate jobs would give me the funds much faster and make it much easier to get started on my goals. The only problem would be if I fall too into the other extreme and forget my goals entirely. Otherwise, a job will simply be another means to my ends.

On my list there are some things that I want to experience before I die. Things like drive on the Laguna Seca or the Nurburgring. These are both very achievable if I only had the finances. It is not something that I need an overwhelming amount of time for. A week maybe? I could use vacation time from said corporate job to do it.

Am I selling out? Vaguely.

It depends on the corporate culture that I join. If the values are right, and the environment is good, then I won’t have a problem.

But I won’t get stuck in another unhealthy corporation, just for the money.

(Disclaimer: The company I’m at now wasn’t always this bad. But in the year and half I’ve been there, I’ve seen it go bad. Firing good people, under paying others, all in the name of cutting costs and maintaining profitability and the salaries of those in managerial positions, while the front line staff are marginalized and forgotten.)

The corporation I join has to do their part. They need to reward their employees’ efforts and truly practice the cliche that employees are their best asset.

If they do that, then I can join in peace.

I am unhappy because I am not meeting society’s expectations for me.

I work part time as an intern and am not wholeheartedly pursuing a full time job.

I majored in computer information systems in college, but am not interested in being a developer or programmer.

I spend my free time playing video games by myself or with my girlfriend. Or reading about gaming or football.

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By society’s definitions I am a failure. I’m a bum who’s leeching off my parents and girlfriend.

I am defined by my lack of a well paying, steady “job”, and my time wasting pastimes.

All of which detracts from the fact that I’m actually happy like this. If it were not for these feelings of failure, I would be enjoying myself quite contentedly.

I have loving parents, a wonderful girlfriend. I have enough food to eat, clothes on my back, a roof over my head. I have enough disposable income on my own to waste on gaming, but not enough to quite pay the rent. But we have enough savings to make due for a few months.

I have enough time to enjoy the many games I spend money on.

And yet because I fail to meet society’s expectations I am deemed a failure.

As much as I would like to avoid it and deny it; it does weigh on me. That I am not meeting these expectations.

I should be content with who I am and not who society wants me to be.

But the beliefs of society are insidious. They permeate the subtle inflections in others’ voices when I talk about where I am in life. Every exaggerated pause or raised eyebrow contains the disappointment of a society whose approval I should not care for.

It includes my parents, my girlfriend, my friends, and my coworkers. Even the bloggers I follow, maintain that I am failing them.

It is very subtle. But the fact that I choose to use my free time unproductively seems to go against one of the blogosphere’s own values. It is not direct, but hidden, beneath every post of eliminating distractions and increasing productivity.

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So where does this leave me?

As of right now, still in square one. Vaguely depressed without any real reason that I should be.

What am I going to do about it?

For now, I’m just going to keep working on this blog, skimming job postings and entertaining fleeting notions of writing an ebook.

All the while I will not change my lifestyle. I will try to enjoy the luxuries that I am afforded and remember that this is who I am.

A gamer. Not quite ready to change to meet the expectations society has put on me.